Dear NKP (New Knitting Project),

I don’t think we are going to work out.  Sorry to be so blunt, but I’ve got to be honest. 

It’s not a secret that things are falling apart at the seams… literally. Should it really be this hard in the beginning? I don’t think it should. I mean, we’re in the honeymoon stage!  It should all be butterflies and sunshine but, instead, it’s nothing but dropped stitches and heartache.

I can’t take it much longer.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about doing my part. But you are so needy! You just take and take and take… and what do I have to show for it? A shriveled mass of knots and snags.

I’m feeling like I’ve been totally duped.  Sure, you look AMAZING on paper, but when I get into the knit and purl of it all, it’s not a pretty picture. You’ve really got to shape up.

Please, don’t beg. It’s a bit pathetic. I’ll hold out a little longer.  I’m serious though.  If I can’t get through another half dozen rows without a snafu, it’s

welcome to Dumpsville—population you!

Sincerely,