I have this tendency to beat myself over all the uncrossed off things on my to do list. I’m sure I’m not the only one. But seriously, there are times that someone has to convince me that the kitchen cabinets do not, indeed, need to be painted before I go away for the weekend. As I type that, a wave of guilt hits me that my cabinets are still not paint.
September is going to be about letting go of that stress. As I alluded to last week, September’s motto is going to be “call it all current and move forward.” Sure, it’s not really a goal or a habit. Let’s say the habit is to give myself a break. I like that.
I’d like to say that I’m putting all my running to-do lists, and there are many, through the shredder or the fire pit I just cleaned out. I think I might have a heart attack or go into shock if I did that. Instead, I’m taking a hard look at the reality behind what’s on my list.
Call it an examination of “why do I do what I do?” Call it a war against paralyzing perfectionism. Call it a reality check… or just time to get over myself and my first world “problems”. Call it all current and MOVE FORWARD.
Here are a few areas I’m going to work on:
Project Life. I’m months behind… months. I had to come back to the whole reason behind wanting to do PL in the first place. I love playing with paper and photos. Seeing the little moments life is made of make me love life all the more. I see how truly blessed I am. I want to do this so the message is clear to get back on track. So who cares if I catch up by covering two weeks in a spread instead of two? Not me. What’s the drama then? I don’t remember. Call it current and move forward.
The novel has been on draft #2 for almost a year. I started off behind with writing. I’ve been writing as long as I can remember, mind you, but I lost the race, as it were, in my imaginary competition with S.E. Hinton who finished writing The Outsiders when she was 16 and was published by 18. It’s pretty bad when you’ve been defeated by 18… especially when it was a self-imposed imaginary competition. What’s the A-HA in that? There is no competition but myself (and possible my TV). The stories in my head are mine. They get written or they don’t. My only deadline is death. I can work with that. And I WANT to write. No need to carry around lost battles on my shoulders. Call it current and move forward.
The blog and the shop. While I’ve finally listed to the shop a lot of the work I’ve amassed recently, I feel way behind the game in the marketing, making-a-name game. Same goes with the blog. Again, I had to really look at why I even want to blog or have a shop. I’m still working on that. I like the blog as a journal of me and it struggles when I try to make it more than just a letter to my friends and family. If the blog is my letter home, then the Etsy shop is my mom’s virtual fridge. It practically squeals, “look what I can do!” complete with full Stuart hop-kick. The pressure comes when I want it to make money. I mean, obviously the goal of having an online shop is to make money. But really, would I have made my art for free? Well, yeah! Because that’s what I already did. Call it current and move forward.
Keeping in touch with people. I suck at this… but does it make any sense to let the guilt of being bad at it keep me from making contact? i find myself thinking, I’ve been terrible at keeping in touch with so-and-so, it would be weird to call her now. Really? What sense does that make? Call it current and move forward.
House everything. I read too many dwelling blogs. Period. I am not Young House Love. Neither are you, really. Unless you are. In that case, hi Petersiks! But really, I’ve done a lot in the two years I’ve lived in my house. Sure I have grand plans, but that doesn’t mean I’m behind. My house is doing a great job of being a house. A safe house, a fun and cozy house. Every nook and cranny need not be magazine cover material. The laundry list of cabinet painting and pergola building and the replacement of all things “bisque” is about wants not needs. There is not room for guilt in this casa. Call it current and move forward.