I have funny friends. I mean, really hilarious friends. We are, naturally, funnier together… it’s a blessing, I know. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t eek out at least a pale representative of my obnoxious laugh.
Somewhere along the way I decided that my laugh was embarrassing. I tried on all kinds of laughs, mimicking others, stifling the uproarious explosion that was being held behind steel bars. Holding back only lead to even more embarrassing outburst of frantic laughter at inopportune times such as when people fell down stairs or make serious but completely awkward statements.
Then I met one of my favorite people, Rachel, who has, without a doubt, the best laugh ever. It’s loud. It’s fantastic. I heard it and my pent-up laugh of origin, like a suppressed accent, demanded to be released. It didn’t matter what she was laughing at, I just needed to laugh along with her in full outrageous volume. I was working with the best team ever and we were funny together. Oh, the good ole days 🙂
It was at the same time that I met one of my most hilarious friends. I refer to her as The Bircham but she prefers KT. Frankly, she calls me Miranda, so I’ll be calling her Bircham whether she likes it or not. She is funny but, together, we are completely unstoppable. I mean, we crack ourselves up. This girl needs her very own TV show (which she’s already named “The Flats”). Too bad the world doesn’t find us quite as amusing.
Recently, KT and I (and actually a lot of other people in our circle) have been plagued by the need to suppress said laughter for reasons of noise control, professionalism, and well, flat-out censorship. We’ve been developing various methods that I thought I ought to share with you along with a bit of the Bircham and Miranda comedy routine.
Laughter Suppression Methods:
• Hold your breath
• Inflict pain on yourself (I prefer biting down on my knuckles)
• Inflict pain on others (well, that’s KT’s suggestion… she’s such a gangster, and as she edits this blog, she corrects and says “others is plural-we like to do it to more than one person… or I do)
• Think about something that is not funny (imagine someone dying… in a not funny way)
The Great KT/Miranda Comedy Routine (that only we think is hilarious):
KT: Miranda! Are you alive?
Why are you harder than the president to get in contact with?
Did you die?
You don’t want to tell me because you are dead and physically cannot?
You don’t want to tell me because you are currently trying to take over the world?
Which i find totally acceptable just FYI
although, that is really my job
ok, it says your idle…
is that true?
lets find the defintion of idle
a. Not employed or busy: idle carpenters. See Synonyms at inactive.
b. Avoiding work or employment; lazy: shiftless, idle youth. See Synonyms at lazy.
c. Not in use or operation: idle hands.
I’m going to go with B… I am totally cracking myself up over here
dude, you are killing me here
I’ve tried calling u
I am this _ close to walking over there
are u there?
Me: yup, just got back
KT: she lives!!!!!!!!!
KT: but I had to get a sub at Publix with J
KT: J for Jesus
Me: Bircham, you are freaking killing me
KT: I try
no seriously, I am trying to kill u
p.s thanks for the labels
KT: no good
hey, is there a way to create a template for a document that looks cool
kind of like a cover page
KT: k, do you know how i can do that?
can you tell me?
I am cracking up
Me: (ok, seriously laughing over here 🙂 🙂 )
KT: me too
and its so quiet
Me: I hold my breath so as not to disturb the minions
KT: I just did that awkward laugh that sounds like snickering
yes me too
it’s because I’m trying to keep quiet
Me: so annoying, i just want to let out the full force of my obnoxious laugh
KT: me too
Me: I think the harder I try to be quiet the more I want to laugh
so, can you help me out?
Me: I can
what do you want it to look like?
btw I need a shirt that says “J is for Jesus” LOLOL
Me: what are you doing slacker?
KT: I went on a trip
Me: to the love shack?
I’m heading down the Atlanta highway
can I go home now?
KT: nvm, i think I figured it out
that’s cause you are well on your way to conquering the world
you won’t even need me then
KT: oh I will
I need someone to kill the people
that’s where you come in
KT: with your ninja style moves
Me: I’m glad i have been incorporated into your master plan
me and my ninja style moves
KT: you and many others (insert evil laugh)
on a side note
KT: I would really like a chicken pie from boston market
KT: can it be 3:56?
Me: it is
can it be 4:55:59?
KT: I am losing my mind
I can’t hold it in
KT: dude did you die…again?
KT: ok, question
hypothetically–if I left my taco in the car yesterday but put it in the fridge when I got home, would it:
a) be bad
b) be good
c) you don’t know
d) you don’t care but go ahead and eat it anyway so you die
Me: (holding my breath again)
I’m leaning towards D
if it was in the car for 4 hours I’d say it’s prolly not the best thing to eat
so my final answer is A
Me: yes, I’ve moved on from simply holding my breath to biting my hand in conjunction…
the pain seems to help stifle the laughter
I can’t hold it in
I feel like I need to go outside and let it all out
but it probably won’t be as funny then
KT: it’s probably easier to get the President to out of the Whitehouse
ok, now I must strategically get out of here
Me: what’s with the president obsession today?
KT: I don;t know lol
I think it’s because I went to DC
and a lot of voting has been going on
Me: you are killing me birch
KT: I have to email like 20 people
that seems like a ton of fun
KT: oh it is
if fun were the opposite of fun
KT: I say poo
Me: oh my gosh
that dings in my ear –
Now, after too much suppression, an explosion is bound to follow. The usual recipient of such explosions is my T to the Nisha, Tynisha Leon of Dasheen Magazine. I’m not sure what causes her humor to spring forth but this vivacious woman doesn’t have to do much to get me going. Before I know it, my old-man wheezing laugh has taken over and I’m squeeking like a mouse. I laugh so hard I stop breathing and the next logical phase is to break down in sobs.
It. Is. Beautiful.
What about you, dear Reader? Have you made great attempts to hide your laugh of origin? Do you have a favorite person to laugh with? Any suggestions for laugh suppression methods? I’d love to hear all about it!