Yes attacked… it was like a bathroom slasher scene before my eyes. Okay, so it had nothing to do with an unsuspecting girl in a shower or a creepy guy with a knife… this was much worse.
HUGE TREE FROG
Yes, you heard me, a frog in my bathroom. He (only a he would have such blatant disregard for a woman’s sacred space) leaped out of the sink as I turned on the water to wash my hands. I nearly had a heart attack first because of the frog, then because my brand new hair dryer smashed to the floor.
Anyway, my super hero roommate came to the rescue and remove the foul creature. You are probably thinking, frog-fear? really? Now I must provide you with a list of why frogs (and this frog specifically) are the creepiest of the creepy. I ought to preface this list by saying that these reasons (not excuses) are not in order by significance mainly because I am in (hopefully) obvious distress just writing about them.
1. Color-it’s not definable, almost translucent to the point that you expect to see veins and organs…eeeeehhhgggg… it’s a color that if it was a crayon could only be called glow-in-the-dark
2. They jump (uuuuhhhggghhhh) in the direction that is statistically the worst option: AT ME!
3. They rank above both spider and roached in the YEEEK Chart because you can’t just whack them with a flip-flop or magazine.
4. They have creepy suction-cuppy digits so that when they do manage to land right on you (extra creepy points for arms or hair) they cling so you can’t fling the little monster off!
5. They used to be tadpoles… enough said.
After all this explanation I thought it may be helpful for me to include my:
in decending YEEK order
1. Snakes (ranking above tree frogs because, although both can be poisonous, a) snakes bite and b) the slither and strike which is exponentially more terrifying than leaping)
2. Tree Frogs
3. General Frogs (yes they warrant differentiation)
4. Opossums/Raccoons/Armadillos (only ranked higher due to mass)
Welcome to my neurosis…